Researching fiction...

While I'm still hashing it out in my head, on spare bits of notebook paper and about 8,000 words on my laptop, I'm not ready to release what my next book is about. I'm more timid this time around because I want to sell it to a publisher.

But, I will share some random fun facts I have learned in the process to researching topics in my next book:

- Five percent of the world's population has ADHD and about three times as many people believe the that mental disorder was made-up to sell medication.

- Various summer camps across the country have daily-updated photo Web sites so "helicopter" parents can monitor their children. Some cases include parents checking photos with a magnifying glass to inspect their child for bug bites.

- In Japan, it is common for teenagers and younger girls to prostitute themselves for expensive clothing and other things. All this is done on their own, without a pimp. There are hundreds of documented cases in the United States and Canada.

- A male Beta, otherwise known as the Japanese Fighting Fish, will not fight to the death with another male Beta in its natural habitat because the other will generally escape before any wounds become fatal. Only when the escape route is eliminated, will one fish kill another.

Anti-drug ad, circa 1987

When we're little, we're always asked what we want to be when we grow up. I've been thinking about that a lot lately, so that explains why the following is in my head.

Anytime someone asks it now, all I can recall is that anti-drug campaign commercial of a cop chasing a guy in slow motion. The voiceover says, "No one ever says, 'I want to be a junkie when I grow up.'"

I'm wondering if someone has by now. Because there has to be at least one person that has wanted to get messed up all of the time, not have a job and basically do nefarious deeds for small amounts of money to get a rock or two. One person, in the history of mankind, had to at least think that sounded like a life-calling.

One person, out of all the junkies, crackheads, stoners, wastoids, crankers, speeders and cookers, had to choose it for themselves. Sure, everyone about to be sentenced for a crime to fuel that addiction says how bad they couldn't control it and it all started with their first joint sophomore year of high school after football tryouts.

Then, before they know it, they're drinking their mom's perfume for the buzz. (Well, kids, try hand sanitizer--it's cheaper.) Then it's pissing themselves in church from sheets of blotter acid put on the Communion. Before you know it, Johnny's a junkie, trying out for Partner for a Drug-Free America commercials.

But, he wanted to be a doctor when he grew up. It was his friend--who's now a lawyer--that wanted to be the junkie.

Anyway, the moral of the story is: Sorry, Partnership for a Drug-Free America.

Someone has said, "I want to be a junkie when I grow up."