A writing exercise...

Here's something to try:

- Get a tattoo on your arm that says, "Dolar hic tibi proderit olim," or "one day this pain will be useful to you."

- Go to work and watch the worst thing imaginable that a parent could do to their child. Watch in graphic, horrific detail. Then write a story for the newspaper.

- Feel dead inside.

- After work, go to the bar and drink large amounts of Scotch in an attempt to feel better. Have drink or two with your friend Ryan.

- While at said bar, write a story in your notebook called "I was a child porn star."

- On Ryan's advice, go to a reading, full of Scotch and smelling like it. Read that story to a bunch of hippies and blue hairs. Make three people cry.

- Have two New York Times Best Selling authors tell you afterwards you are good and need an agent. They'll even offer their help.

- Have a better day than you ever thought possible.