ore for their saucy wings (Hot mostly, Blazin' if I want internal bleeding and Parm Garlic for dessert), I won't be one of the people waiting in line.
The store opens Monday and there are already predictions that people will be camping out as early as Saturday. I was wrong. I just found out there are people camping out there in a tent right now. It's friggin' WEDNESDAY! Six days for wings!
Wow. Considering the offer could be as weak as six free wings a month for a year, that's some dedication to cheap-skating.
This got me thinking...is a year's worth of wings really worth a weekend camping outside a closed restaurant. Sure, people have waited for worse, but there needs to be some kind of rating system for those people who deem it necessary to pause their lives for certain things:
Here are a few of my selections:
5). iPhone 3G Guy: Sure, now you can gather porn at blazing speeds, but the difference between the guy at the head of the line for the new 3G and the guy who gets it weeks later — the size of their contact list.
4). Black Friday Shopper: It's not the waiting in line that is the demeaning part, it's the brutal nature of those shoving their way through the door. Maybe the chemical in turkey that makes you tired makes you psychotic when illuminated under florescent light. Then again, times are tough and power drills and flat-screen TVs are expensive.
Disclaimer: One day after Thanksgiving a friend and I waited outside the Wal-Mart I worked at to buy things for other people. We made $150 each for 2 hours of work. I was 16.
3). Star Wars Fanatics: While now extinct until George Lucas finds another way to whore out spinoffs of this great six-part series, the Star Wars fans were always the most eclectic. Whether dressed as a character that doesn't appear in the movie they're waiting for or having rehearsed light saber battles in the parking lot, these crazy kids just like to have PG fun. That, and after the whole waiting, they're still paying $9 to see an abomination — at least they did for the last three movies.
2). Parents: So your kid likes Hannah Montana. Maybe your snot-ass punk of a kid wants a PSP. Cool, give them some cash and wish them luck. Waiting in line for hours, doing all the work and paying for tickets/toys only makes you a failure of a parent, not a good one. If your kid is disappointed in the fact they don't get to see the latest Disney manifestation of what adolescence should be, tell them to wait until they get a job. Sure, they like rock stars, but they won't be one.
And now, the number one offender for waiting in line for all the wrong reasons:
1). Reality TV Show Contestant Wannabes: If you're waiting in line to hopefully cash in on your uniqueness, you'd be better off banking on your craziness. American Idol, The Real World or America's Next Top Model can do without you. You're not that interesting, talented or pretty if you have to wait in line.
