Be very, very afraid to laugh

So, a while back I wrote a few posts that have been getting some attention back in the ol' fair Quad-Cities.

The first was about a "sighting" I had whilst living in the City of Davenport. The second was that the person I saw "abducted" was someone shown on the Web site ZWatch.org.

Sorry for the three people that read this blog and the one person who actually believed this was real. Yes, me, Brian Krans, an author of numerous fictional work, created those posts to further a conspiracy that might bring criminal charges.

Seriously. Read the story by the tenacious and talented Quad City Times reporter Ann McGlynn titled, "'Zombie' event planners might face charges."

As I was accurately quoted, I called the event — a zombie pride parade in Davenport — "form of creative expression" and "an art form," "mobile, walking art" and "our version of 'War of the Worlds.'"

If there are criminal charges pending against anyone involved in the project, I will declare this now, and in front of a jury if necessary, I WAS PART OF IT FROM THE BEGINNING!!!

Was there a conspiracy? If by conspiracy you mean planning extensively by numerous talented individuals in search of a goal, then yes, there was a conspiracy. Was there a crime committed? That's for the lawyers and possibly a jury to decide.

We collaborated, we created, we confused a few people, we entertained even more, and hopefully inspired some.

Instead of people looking at a Web site searching for a missing kid — whose "family" didn't even know that much about him — and giving it a dismissive look, some contacted the police because, let's face it, some people are easily scared at even the slightest hint of something wrong. Then again, most people are smart, saw right through it as the ploy it was and went on about their lives.

So that's the end of it, right? Nope. The cops are involved. They're upset and charges might be filed against the few of us brave (read: dumb) to tag our names to such a project where no one was hurt, no property was damage, nor any liberty was obstructed.

No, really, this is what's happened to us. I really, really hope there is a God and he hates people without a sense of humor.

We can't take jokes. We take everything seriously. Everyone has feelings. No one should ever, ever hurt them. I'm guessing — and often I'm not good at that — that someone made a huge stink about the site once they realized they were duped into believing what was obviously a hoax that was ALWAYS intended to be an advertising ploy for a few parties in the Quad-Cities.

To those people: you should also seek the heads of Ron Popeil, the Sham Wow guy, the people behind the Blair Witch Project and Michael Bay. I only include Michael Bay because his trailers make me think the movies might be good when they never are.

I'll end this with a quote from the greatest philosopher to ever grace the planet at the same time we all did, George Carlin: "I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work."