The worst things are coming...

When mom or dad told you, "Finish what you start," they were right.

I've done one of the worst things a writer can do. Tied up somewhere in the sequence of events, I opened a new Word document and started typing.

"Enriquetta wasn't supposed to get shot."

And everything flowed from there. I've had the idea for my next book since I started my first. Finish what you start. At one point during the ramblings that are my next project, I wanted to scrap the first one and just start anew.

Some of the new stuff is pretty funny. Let's just say the line, "If you needed a DNA sample from Dan, just ask Tucker to spit," was part of it. And no, it's not the Dan you're all thinking of. Remember: The names have been changed to protect the guilty.

So I wanted to scrap "A Constant Suicide." Then I remembered why I was writing my first one. For all the First Prentiss and honorary FP. It's a collection of our good times and bad. There's a message in there I need to say.

So, as all I want to do is throw everything away and start a new project, I have to force myself to keep going. But for now, it's Saturday and I'm at the paper, finishing something I didn't get done last week.

Wow. I'm cool.

On salvation

Writing this keeps me thinking about salvation. Finding what we're looking for in life, what's best for us, etc.

My narrator finds salvation in someone who will later kill himself. Hence, "We create our saviors."

But, as I've come to think about a lot lately, is it possible to save ourselves? Is there a way to avoid all outside sources to find true happiness in ourselves? Is there anyone out there that doesn't count on anything -- work, a significant other, drugs, alcohol - to find moments of bliss?

Some would say yes. Others would say no. I say we all have some kind of dependence.

Then self-actualization comes into play. Growing instead of destroying. Taking care of lower needs and then proceeding to higher ones. Those reaching self-actualization show some certain points:
• They embrace reality and facts rather than denying truth
• They are spontaneous
• They are interested in solving problems which may include personal problems or the emotional conflicts of others
• They are accepting of themselves and others and lack prejudice

But I don't think anyone can reach these on their own. You have to find what drives you, whether in relationships with others or yourself, and then move up from there.

Whatever. That's just what's going on in my gourd right now.