"A Constant Suicide" is the self-published, debut novel of Brian Krans. The first draft of the novel was written in November 2006, as part of National Novel Writing Month. It was released in May 2007 by Rock Town Press.

6.10.2008

A letter addressed to me...

Dear Brian,

I know you saw a man with one leg Friday. And then you thought something like, “How do you know what you'll miss until it's gone, whether it be a leg, your vision, or someone?”

That same day, you ordered new shoes. You also told your “little sister” you needed some new jeans because the gray ones you were wearing were looking pretty bad.

That was after you took the skin off your left skate so your friend could make a pattern out of them. Well, it wasn't the only pattern.

Then you went skating at SkateChurch as normal on a Friday.

You've been skating a lot, but you haven't been writing that much. You know, that novel you've been working on for almost a year now? Well, you always thought you needed a push. I gave you one, even after all these warnings.

My favorite warning was right before you did that pole stall, a little kid asked you, “Hey, did your head heal?”

And you responded, “Yeah after a few days. I'm a quick healer.”

Less than an hour later, you had your annual spring visit to the emergency room. They cut the leg off your jeans and your skin from your left Valo skate fit really well over your splint.

You broke your left ankle, just like all the signals I've been giving you.

Well, at least you're writing more, just as you should remain for the next six weeks as you sit on the couch in your bright neon green cast.

Enjoy your time off skating and use it wisely. Also enjoy living your life like someone who has taken something for granted for too long.

Love,
Karma.