Inspiration

My favorite author, Chuck Palahniuk, offered words of advice to writers that goes something like this:

Did you ever sit down to take a dump, but knew you had nothing to push out? Did you ever just sit on the toilet and push and push and push? No, of course not. If you don't have to go, you get up, get something to eat, and go about your day. When you have to crap, you crap. Writing should be the same way. Why waste time forcing something out when it's not ready?

It's just great advice. Why try to write when you know nothing will come of it?

And that's where I sit (pun not intended). After finishing my grad school application, which came after the disastrous laptop crash, I felt like I wasn't ready to delve back into the second novel quite yet. Something was missing.

I say it was inspiration.

With complete scenes written out in my trusty Moleskine notebook and a pile of books and articles read for research, something was missing to get me to start tapping away at the book. A few times I tried, but it felt like I was just pushing and straining in futility.

So I stopped. I got something to eat. I spent some time with my favorite people, namely one person in particular. We had some crazy fun times, but we also had a lot of down times. It was a great opportunity for me to clear my head and realize what was important in my life.

(I'm still a fan of the thought that real people are better than imaginary ones.)

So, in the weeks that passed -- holidays included -- I unknowingly got my main character, who currently goes by the name Jake, into perspective. By getting inside my own head, clarifying some thoughts and emotions, I was able to see what could make him tick, what would drive him.

I hadn't felt like a writer in a while because I haven't been writing. I was so wrong. I was writing non-stop, but in my head.

Last night when I sat down to write, I knew what needed to be said, what could be ignored and how to go about it. That's not because I sat at my computer and pushed it out. It's because I spent a good deal of time relaxing, thinking and enjoying life.

In essence, I feel like a writer again, not because I wrote, but because my head is clear.

Thanks Erica.